I walked three times today. The first time was early in the morning in Georgetown. Coalie and I walked to the creek and jogged back to the house for the drive into Denver. The second walk was with my friend Loralee. We walked about a mile and then had to back track to find Loralee's knitting bag (luckily the wind did not blow it away). The third and quickest (but felt like the longest) walk of all was into the school when I got a call that Logan had fainted. Luckily, his doctor was also walking into the school so we got him checked out immediately. We don't really know why he fainted, but are watching him closely. Evidently, people faint when they are dehydrated, getting sick, hungry, or have an irregular heart rate none of which Logan seems to have. It's almost five hours later and he seems fine except for a slight headache where his head hit the desk.
When Logan was born, I remember thinking, "Parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart." I felt overpowered by love and protection for him. My friend Molly told me, "Giving birth is like falling in love times a thousand." Boy, was she right. My friend Kay, who had already raised a beautiful young woman told me, "Just remember, you can't take too much blame or too much credit." That was a relief.
The protection feeling kicked in on the drive home from the hospital. We labored over making sure that Logan had nursed enough before we left, that the carseat was installed properly, that he was strapped in correctly, that he was warm enough, and that we were driving carefully enough. At the first stoplight, it hit me hard that when my brother and I were very small, my mom would leave us in the car while she went into a bar to drink. I wasn't angry at her...anymore. I just couldn't imagine how much pain she must have been in to leave her children like that. I knew I would make mistakes, but luckily that would not be one of them.
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